Here's the Cheese!
Come and Get It aired on the ABC during the mid-80s and was Australia's most popular cooking show, broadcasting over 900 episodes. Myffy Rigby says G'day to Peter Russell-Clarke who has experiencing a surge in popularity after a sharply cut Youtube clip.
Ask Pete no questions, he'll tell you no lies
On life after telly
As I'm speaking to you I'm painting three policemen trying to catch a swagman jumping into a billabong with a sheep. I've been commissioned to illustrate about 20 books on Australiana. What I do for a living is write, paint and draw. I'm actually working on about 20 cookbooks at the moment. Hopefully they'll be coming out very soon because we need the money (laughs).
On celebrity chefs
I think they're good-o. In my day, what you needed to do was to really be able to produce good food. Today you need to produce entertainment and I think when I did it I was a boring old fart - and still am mind you - whereas today they've got to be entertaining. They're far better than I was when I was doing it. What we concentrated on was really trying to educate people on ‘If you eat this you won't get fat or you won't fart' whereas today, really you've got to get people to keep watching regardless of what the message is.
On Sydney food vs Melbourne food
I personally think the food is better in every city you go to. If I go to Venice or Paris or London or wherever, I'm excited by the food. And the reason I am is because I'm excited by the ambience of the place that I'm in and I tend to think that if people from Melbourne come to Sydney they say ‘Jesus, the bloody food in Sydney is bloody ripper' but they forget that they're drinking more booze than they'd normally drink, they're on holiday, they're out of their normal locale, and I think that people from Sydney that come to Melbourne say the restaurants are more sophisticated or whatever. It's all bloody bullshit. I think all food is how you perceive it rather than how you actually consume it.
On eating in restaurants
Often restaurants attempt to make themselves look flash and I think that's a mistake. I think what they should be doing is attempting to make their food good. When I go out I don't want to eat fucking vegetables. I want to eat a duck breast cooked with star anise. Or I want to eat a bit of pork infused with horseradish sauce from Germany or Austria because they do it better than anyone else and I want to eat that because I wouldn't eat it at home. If I go to a restaurant I want the bastards to jump up and down and do something spectacular. For instance, if I go to the circus, I expect someone to do something extraordinary. Something I can't do at home. If they just lie about on a couch like I do at home, then why the bloody hell go to the circus?
On a comeback
Oh, I think I'm too old and dopey for that. I think food has become a national sport and like all sports it's played by very few and watched by many. And those that watch it call themselves sportsmen. For instance, you go to the races and the people that stand in the stands call themselves sportsmen and that's bullshit. What they are, are drunks and fornicators. It's the blokes that are on the field that are sportsmen and I think it's the same with food. A lot of people consider themselves foodies - they talk a lot of bullshit and wouldn't know their arse from their elbow whereas the people who are cooking the stuff are usually pretty good and are trying to advance what we're doing. The food we've got in Australia today is certainly a hell of a lot better than ten years ago.
On the future
I think that the future is with youth. I think that people my age are absolutely deadset fucking boring. Yesterday I did this thing with two young fellas in their early 20s and the deal was we had to cook a full two-course meal with only a kettle and a toaster. It was fuckin' beaut. We ended up setting the toaster on fire and there was bloody smoke everywhere... but it was bloody marvellous because it made people understand what cooking is about. The problem with a lot of chefs is that they think they're either scientists or someone down from god. What they should be doing is saying, ‘Our job is the simplest job in the world.' To dig a hole in the road is difficult, to cook a piece of fish is simple. All you do is supply heat to it. I think a lot of cooks are wankers and absolutely full of shit.
On locating the cheese
When I started that, I've always believed that Australian cheese is better than a lot of the imported stuff but I found it very difficult to convince the industry itself. They believed that French cheese was the hero and the Australian Dairy Corporation allowed me to argue that point. And we argued it successfully. We now believe that Australian cheese in many cases is far better than the imported stuff. I think banning unpasteurised cheese is bullshit. I see they're just loosening the laws on that and so it should be. That's just crazy but that's a bunch of awful little smelly nosed bureaucrats who probably poop their pants. They're awful little turds. Bloody government people, I can't think of one government person that's worth their salt.
On YouTube
Well, I have no idea who put it on. I assume they
did it to embarrass me but I couldn't give a fuck to tell you the
truth. It's of no consequence to me one way or the other. Who cares?