From Wales to Warhol
Touch Galleries
******(zero stars)
By Adam Jasper
Warhol and Windsor - chalk and cheese
The arrival of Touch Galleries, smack bang in the middle of Queen Street, Woollahra, has been accompanied by a substantial amount of press coverage, including such august organs as the Sydney Morning Herald and ABC radio. The excitement seems to have been caused by a curious feature of the opening show. As it says on the wall at the entrance, this is "a world first exhibition. Juxtaposing two artists: HRH the Prince of Wales and Andy Warhol whose styles couldn't be further apart, celebrating the credence that; art is for everyone."
Credences are for the credulous, and I have to admit that I was suckered. I initially thought the entire exhibition was a joke, and a fairly good one at that. Combining the works of a celebrity obsessed artist (whose personality was artfully constructed to resemble a vacuum) and a monarch (whose personality actually is a total void) seems richly redolent with ironic possibilities. Unfortunately, and it is almost unbearable to tell you this, none are intended. Leading up the stairs are unopened cans of Campbell's Pumpkin Soup, and at the top, surveying a promiscuously splayed guest book, is Warhol's pencil sketch of Queen Elizabeth II ($365,000 if you're interested). Scattered around the room are various other third-rate Warhols, including some openly contemptuous scribbles on notepaper and a signed copy of the Velvet Underground record cover. The gallery staff told me that they've been shifting so many of these babies that they've had to order more in.
I had hoped that Andy and Charles' work would be hung together, so that there would be at least some fun to have. Unfortunately, HRH the Prince of Wales' rather insipid watercolours (or more exactly, limited edition lithographs of HRH the Prince of Wales' rather insipid watercolours, starting at a mere $10,000) have been sequestered in a separate room. Here, a mix-tape that could have been stolen from a kebab shop is being distorted through some cracked speakers. Again, we wish it was a joke, but we think it's meant as ambience.
Alongside His works are some rather amateurish etchings by Queen Victoria Herself, pictures of an Arab and a lumpy looking girl and stuff. What's that, you say? Of course they are amateurish. They're Royals. Only commoners can treat art as a profession. Charles Himself says that His pictures aren't much good, and we agree with Him and can't help but like Him for his honesty. But would you want to buy one? Perhaps only as a gift to hang over a bulimic's toilet. From Wales to Warhol is ugly, and it's dumb, and it's ridiculously, blatantly greedy and grasping.